Church of the Militant Elvis Statement

Church Statement

Many of our followers believe Presley to be alive and living in the Middle East disguised as an Arab sheik. He was believed to be in Baghdad but after narrowly being missed by a falling statue, he decided to leave and is believed now to be hiding in Iran waiting for the Battle of Armageddon.

Elvis's Revelations
Elvis Loves You
But Jesus may be having second thoughts.
Love Thine Enemy except Cliff Richards.
And Behold I saw a New Heaven
and a New Earth and New Labour
and I thought "Lawdy Miss Clawdy
Not those Ass'oles again."
Love New Labour as Thyself
(We think he was on drugs when he said this)
----------
In Elvis Revelations it is said that
"the media is the last refuge of a scoundrel."